girl talk

i found myself rolling my eyes several times and wondering "why am i here" as we walked and talked. yup. i was out with him last night. we did have an engaging conversation throughout but there's no escape from the fact that he's so nice that i could just vomit blood.

seriously.

he was on time (early in fact), i was late. he brought his jacket which he normally leaves on his office chair cos he had the hunch that i'd forget to bring mine (sure enough the absent minded me forgot). he happy charged everything to his card - the dinner, the movies, the drinks at alleybar. and at the table, he pulled the chair for me to sit (but by then i had already gotten to the other chair haha!)

then he let me use the jacket in the theatre - while he shivered under his laptop bag. (you may think he's sweet but come on, it's partly ego too right.) he walked me to my bus stop - though that meant he had to make a detour back to the mrt station. he made me inform him that i had reached home safely, just to be sure. and he's willing to help me find a job (which i declined though it sounds goo money - 50 bucks per simple assignment)

yeah im feeling too sick to go on. he gives in a lot to me and that's precisely what i find annoying. the last thing i want a chivalrous Mr Nice Guy. maybe you think i dont respect men. but i do, thats why i dont want to them henpecked.

yup. most girls dream of the chivarlrous nice guy but im still glad im not "most girls".

oh.. something random but rather true these days:

haha. no intention to offend guys really. it can happen the other way round too anyways. just thought that such a situation would really suck.

----------------------------------------------

im home today, on a rainy wednessday afternoon. the weather's making me feel sleepy. and gosh my bed looks so tempting. i think i can be hypnotised to walk to it and fall into deep slumber. haha. but sleep is the last thing i want, for i dont dare sleep.

in fact, i didnt sleep very well in the wee hours of this morning. my head throbbed like crap! the right side of it felt extremely tight that i couldnt sleep it off. got up at about 3am to popped 2 panadol pills.

as i made my way to my room, i stopped by my parent's room, wondering if mum's awake. i really thought i could die cos the pain was that bad. (it's a bit like Sun Wu Kong's crown being tightening around his head. no kidding. i think my face was contorted in pain the way his did). yup. i was kinda scared that a blood vessel in my brain may be bursting or something.

both of mum and dad were in asleep and i couldnt bear to wake them up. i can forget about calling my sisters cos waking them up takes a lot more energy than getting an ant to scale mount everest. poor me staggered back to bed, and really wondered if i'd die in my sleep.

you may say (yet again) that i have really wild imagination - which i dont deny but come on, already in Singapore itself we've seen quite a number of "mysterious" deaths where people actually die in their sleep. and i guess, to many, my fear of a brain haemorrage sounds pretty dumb. still, i have my reasons... when my mum was expecting me, one of my cousins died of a brain haemorrage. i never got to see him. he was young... just out of NS.

so last night, the fear i had was really hard to put in words. with the almost unbearable splitting headache, i prayed.and started feeling sorry for myself. i was too tired to go back to mum to call for help, or even switch on my handphone and say goodbye. if that was how i was really gonna die, it sucks (though it seems the least physically painful of all deaths).

anyways, i was so tired that i fell asleep without knowing it. haha!

and then i woke up this morning feeling so blessed. i only had a few hours of sleep but i made breakfast for everyone... and that's something i havent done in years. (: feels good to stay home today...

yup. feeling a hell lot better right now. so glad im alive and my headache's gone. maybe im had a caffeine overdose yesterday. anyways, thanks for dropping by. i love you all.