YSunday, July 09, 2006
strange
i dreamt last night that i died. the dream was sad and creepy. from where i lay six feet under, i could see my rather distraught family and friends, throwing white roses at me. then came the dirt, further blurring my last view of loved ones with each pile thrown over me. i closed my eyes as i felt an immense weight push me down, into the pitch-black. i was fully buried. completely hidden from the view of the living. and i smiled.
i dont know why i smiled but i did. and i suspect this dream's all BL's fault. he cursed me last night, and said i'd die if i continue my masochistic ways. alrite. i'm guilty of self-torture. happy now? i admit i didnt sleep the whole of saturday and only went to bed at 5am on sunday. i also admit to putting myself at risk of caffeine overdose by drinking 5 cups of tea on sunday to stay awake.
argh. quite a few around me have been nagging too. but please understand. it's not as if i take sick pleasure in staying up late and working on projects. frankly speaking, if i could, i'd rather sleep the whole damn day. crap. hey, now that i said it, this morbid thought just hit me... it's regarding the dream. i mean, maybe i smiled when i was "buried" because i could finally sleep at last? maybe i was that jaded. so my subconcious mind wished i was better of dead. nah that's quite stupid. i <3 my sucky life, cos in the midst of being in deep shit, i find a pot of gold. haha!
hah. ok that's not so funny. anyway, ive been charging like a bull during the weekend to meet today's deadline. now that most of my things have been submitted, i can take a breather. so you guys dont need to worry about me. i swear i'd get myself a plenty of rest. really need some beauty sleep - i mean, i really look like crap now - emaciated with "my mother's wrinkles, (and) my daughter's pimples"... that's a double, no... that's a triple whammy! arghhhhhhhhh.
hah. im back. got interrupted earlier. this malay UPS (united parcel service) guy was at the door just now. my sis had ordered something from the US. i must say that delivery man's not only lame, he was hitting on me. flirty guy. urgh. before he passed me the package, he was asking questions like, is this a five room or four room, why am i not in school etc.
as i was signing the package, my name "huiru" looked distorted. im not used to the electronic pen, it looked like 'linda'. he asked, 'linda'? and i was like, "yeah!". but his flirting - no doubt disgusting - is an ego boost for me. maybe i dont look so bad afterall. ok im deluded. and im sounding narcisstic. but perhaos, it's in God's plans for that flirt come just as i was about to smash my mirror...
cai was here with you at